Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
