she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
