You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
