if i died would you start the facebook group?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
