I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize