so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
