I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Congratulations! We have a period
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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