He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
