Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize