Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
