drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
