They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Every concussion has its silver lining
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
