so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
