she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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