Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
