Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Small penises have feelings too.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
