I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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