This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize