Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
