you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
