I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You took a bar mat shot.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
