I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize