Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
