I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
