she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
