I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize