she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
