it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have fence marks all over my body
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
