What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize