theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
