return my video game
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
