yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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