**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
