he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
