This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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