I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
