I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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