i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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