it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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