this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
