Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
