I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
