I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
