I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize