Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
