her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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