This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The power of my boobs compel you
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
