I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
