at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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