Midget sex pt 2 tonight
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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