You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
