maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
