you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
