woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm like, not good at living.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
