You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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