What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
now i know why i became what i already was.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
