once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
