You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just pee around me
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
