If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
